Review of 'Teen-Proofing Fostering Responsible Decision Making in Your Teenager' on 'Goodreads'
1 star
the title of this book looked promising: your teen making their own decisons but the book fell short of REALLY letting them; it was more of a discipline-in-advance system.
like he says to buy your teen a car and pay the bills for 3 months but then they have to take care of the payments (and keep their grades up) or you'll sell the car. (that's why YOU buy the car - so you can sell it). BUT he also uses taking the car away as a disciplinary action for other things and selling a car can only be done once. not to mention the cost associated with selling a 3-6 month old car. what a waste.
his ideas of curfew are convoluted: tell your child in grade 9 they can have NO curfew when they turn 16.... ok, what's the catch? well, you start with a 9pm curfew and …
the title of this book looked promising: your teen making their own decisons but the book fell short of REALLY letting them; it was more of a discipline-in-advance system.
like he says to buy your teen a car and pay the bills for 3 months but then they have to take care of the payments (and keep their grades up) or you'll sell the car. (that's why YOU buy the car - so you can sell it). BUT he also uses taking the car away as a disciplinary action for other things and selling a car can only be done once. not to mention the cost associated with selling a 3-6 month old car. what a waste.
his ideas of curfew are convoluted: tell your child in grade 9 they can have NO curfew when they turn 16.... ok, what's the catch? well, you start with a 9pm curfew and if you arrive on time (everytime) you get to move it a 1/2 hour later. repeat till you are 16 with a curfew of midnight - except now it's no curfew. hmm. i'm not comfortable with NO curfew at 16. this guy must have boys. oh - and this 'no curfew' thing is only for non-school nights, and they still have to tell you who they are with, where they are going, and set an arrival time and not stray from it. i can't see how the carrot of this many-strings-attached-no-curfew will ever work.
what else?
he thinks kids need to discuss any purchase over $50 even if they earn their own money
that expecting a good attitude with obedience will lead to less obedience so don't worry about the bad attitudes
that smoking parents yield a higher proportion of smoking teens and smokers move to cannibis quicker that non-smoking teens
that a natural deterrent to early sexuality is a close relationship between father/daughter
that kids should doing chores as a means to keep out of trouble and that letting screens be your child's primary source of entertainment leads to increased drug use.
not saying i agree with all of this, but i need to place it down here.
he did make a good point about authority: if you haven't achieved the position you wanted by the time they are teens, it's too late. instead, ACT like you've resolved the issue and move forward.
and i liked his approach to teens and sexuality: you can have that open discussion without pushing your own agenda by just asking questions,like what do you think comes after kissing? how do you feel about that? and what comes after (whatever they said)? and how do you feel about that? finally - how will make sure you keep the boundaries you've established for yourself?