metascribe quoted Bullying Scars by Ellen Walser deLara
An explosion of research on bullying has raised our collective awareness of the serious impacts …
[ . . . ] kids who are mistreated by their peers may end up doubting their own decision-making capabilities. They do not believe they can get things done, they do not believe they are capable and effective. They believe the opposite about themselves. And if they were not directly told they were ineffective, they surmise it or arrive at this conclusion based on the fact that they cannot change their circumstances. They have no power. They are unable to meet their general goals.
— Bullying Scars by Ellen Walser deLara (Page 139)
This rings true to my own experience. My belief in self-efficacy is certainly not where it should be. This is apparent in my constant self-doubt regarding my own judgments and my indecision in committing to such judgments through action. It is also consistent with my stating how I do not "trust myself." I realize these days that this makes me especially vulnerable to gas-lighting, weak enforcement of boundaries, and inappropriate or misdirected feelings of guilt/shame.