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Chris Voss, Tahl Raz, VOSS/RAZ: Never Split the Difference (Paperback, 2017, Random House Uk) 3 stars

Always split the difference

1 star

The author of this book used to be an FBI negotiator. Didn’t catch that? Don’t worry, you’ll be reminded of it every 2-3 pages, with examples of how amazing he was at bringing hostage negotiations to a successful conclusion. It’s really important that you understand this, because every negotiation is just like a hostage situation, and therefore can be dealt with in the same way.

Absolute nonsense. Apart from anything else, no one is likely to die if you fail to get a better deal on your phone contract or a pay increase at your annual review. This view of the ‘other side’ in a negotiation being someone who has to be totally defeated sets you up for confrontation instead of cooperation. Unless your counterparty is unremittingly hostile or crossing clearly defined boundaries, you are generally better off treating them as a partner than an adversary - especially if you might meet them again in future (which you probably will in a business context).

‘Never split the difference’ is a terrible motto for negotiating (except in life or death situations, which thankfully most of us don’t have to deal with on a daily basis), though it makes a more exciting title than ‘cooperate, compromise, and leave everyone happy’.